Posted in 1 Star, Film Reviews

Transformers: The Last Knight – Review

If the title’s caption, “The Last Knight,” doesn’t keep to its promise by having Michael Bay direct another movie for this franchise, I’ll probably just give up on humanity altogether. I feel that I do need to clarify I actually don’t hate Michael Bay wholly, but even with that having been said I can’t find myself defending the sorts of films he makes when it’s evident I don’t enjoy the time I’m having when I watch them. With every new Transformers film he’s made, it only turns me away all the more from the sorts of films he continues making with the fact the first film was actually one of the first films in which I recall having slept in the theater. The most that I can say for Transformers: The Last Knight is that after egregious experiences with Revenge of the Fallen and Age of Extinction, this was a better film than the preceding three, but one must take a statement like such as they will.

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The Circle (2017) – Review

James Ponsoldt’s directorial credit should already have been enough for me to think that there was something decent inside of The Circle, but what also caught me was the fact it came from a novel by, and was co-written by Dave Eggers. This name already caught me eye more than anything else about The Circle because Eggers also was a co-writer of Spike Jonze’s underrated but wonderful Where the Wild Things Are. Now that The Circle has come out I’m just wondering how everything had gone so terribly wrong for both Ponsoldt and Eggers because both filmmakers have created fairly thoughtful material prior to this and now comes the worst Black Mirror episode disguised as a feature film. Then again, at least Black Mirror even at their very worst had something to say and yet this one doesn’t even know in the slightest what it wishes to do and at its worst, has to preach everything in your face to the point it becomes so irritating.

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It’s Only the End of the World – Review

At the risk of starting up controversy it was something that I still feel is worth noting anyways because in spite of being an LGBT Canadian, I don’t care for the films of Xavier Dolan outside of Mommy. While I have nothing but great admiration for the efforts that are put into the work given Dolan’s young age I still face great trouble even trying to connect with many of his own stylistic choices and said feelings have held me back from watching It’s Only the End of the World. Dolan carries a very aggressive nature when it comes to talking about how some of his own films feel, but nowhere has it ever been nearly as aggravating as it was in here. It highlights the worst sort of melodrama, and even as someone who is not a particularly huge fan, it was the least I would ever expect of Dolan.

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White Girl – Review

A friend of mine was told he would like this film based on his own fondness for the films of Andrea Arnold and Harmony Korine which set myself up to become interested on the spot. The moment he came out saying he wasn’t a fan, however, only made me all the more skeptical about why the recommendation was made. It was not long enough I decided to watch the film where I had failed to see a connection between the recommendations but also one where I was so repulsed by what I was witnessing. That’s only, however, a small testament in describing how truly terrible White Girl is, for it was all around an unpleasant experience.

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Victoria – Review

I’ve always hated the look of a film that goes in a single continuous long take. Even for how much I admire the effort in Russian Ark, it didn’t hide how there were moments I also found myself distanced from the material to which it had intended to present. It made me all the more skeptical before I decided to go ahead and watch Victoria, and quite frankly what snapped back into me was everything I hated about focusing on attempting this feat multiplied by a growing boredom that eventually geared almost towards anger. I know out there, that there are people who are set to admire Victoria on that count but I fall on a radically different end of the spectrum for instead I found myself aggravated the whole way through. One can say what they will about the twelve year aspect of Boyhood but at least I felt something when watching such – in Victoria I was only waiting for a cut and nothing more.

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Love Actually – Review

If the title alone was surprisingly not the most condescending thing about Love Actually, then I would have been shocked based on that alone because the course of events that take place in this supposedly charming romantic comedy all live under an illusion. Richard Curtis’s Love Actually managed to earn a reputation as a delightful Christmas treat in some circles and yet, the opening already suggests the general idea that it wants to get across and yet its picture of such idea is where the film falls on its knees. Love is all around, that is said idea, but Love Actually only inspires a hate-filled rage out of me.

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The Greasy Strangler – Review

There’s a degree to which I can enjoy stuff that purposely is made to be terrible and then there’s another degree to which I just find that even if that were said goal, the final product is not even any interesting. The Greasy Strangler clearly allows its bad qualities to shine but it never really feels like it presents any reason for myself, the viewer, to even care that it was ironically made to be terrible because watching the film alone was already discomforting enough of an experience. If I were supposed to find this funny, I didn’t laugh, I just had a blank expression, one that stuck put start to finish. But maybe that’s the best way to describe The Greasy Strangler, something with a clear goal set in mind and instead leaving behind a blank canvas.

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation – Review

I should vehemently despise this film on all counts because it destroys practically everything that The Texas Chain Saw Massacre had stood for in the beginning, and yet there’s so much about it that’s so enjoyable in such a stupid manner. It’s so easy to note where Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation is messing everything up so horribly and yet it’s all just so fascinating to watch while it’s running. With Tobe Hooper out of the franchise and now with Kim Henkel taking full responsibility, it is just baffling to see how one of the original creators of one of the most terrifying pictures to have graced the screen is destroying what he had created to begin with, all right before one’s eyes. And on all counts possible, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation is just a disaster. Continue reading “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation – Review”

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Faces in the Crowd – Review

Something to Milla Jovovich’s presence can feel alluring when directors can use it in the right spaces, Faces in the Crowd never works around any of that at all nor does it even wish it can. Instead, we have every last ounce of that wasted in something so stupid, but it is never stupid enough to sustain even a laugh. Faces in the Crowd is a film whose stupidity is clear from how much it overreaches in many aspects (one of which even includes the title, almost sounding like the similarly titled and unrelated Elia Kazan film A Face in the Crowd). The degree of overreaching in Faces in the Crowd goes to show how quite a film is willing to let itself sink itself down even further, as the sheer inanity became more distinguishable than anything else about it. Continue reading “Faces in the Crowd – Review”

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Sinister 2 – Review

Scott Derrickson’s Sinister is a well-crafted horror film and amongst the better mainstream entries of its genre in this decade thus far, even if it was never a film I found myself connected with. The idea of a sequel, though, was never something that sounded right because I would never have imagined that the first film was begging for one to begin with, but it was made anyway. As much as I may not have been a huge fan of the first Sinister film, I was able to recognize what good qualities said film had contained that felt so lacking in Sinister 2, considering the laziness that the material contains at least when it comes to how much it ends up relying on what we remember of the first. Continue reading “Sinister 2 – Review”