Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

The Belko Experiment – Review

✯½

My best guess about how a concept like that for The Belko Experiment was conceived comes from James Gunn watching Battle Royale numerous times and attempting to have at a go at it himself. This doesn’t seem so much like a bad idea because I do think Gunn can actually make something entertaining out of the concept but what I got from here quickly went from being something promising to just flat out unimaginative and monotonous. I don’t want to come down to comparing this to Battle Royale because said film isn’t even the first one to take a similar idea and The Hunger Games won’t end the concept as a whole if films like The Belko Experiment are around, but because of how beaten down it has become, I’m only waiting for the day it becomes exciting once again for Battle Royale helped revitalize interest in such a clever concept.

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Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

A Dog’s Purpose – Review

✯½

I’m not a fan of Lasse Hallström (the only film I remotely like being My Life as a Dog) because I consistently find his work rather sappy and manipulative in the worst sense, so upon the notion he would direct another dog film after especially resentful feelings from Hachi: A Dog’s Tale, I would only expect something along the same lines – a sappy drama that panders towards dog lovers and for kids at the same time, but can sweetness save everything like it did for some moments of Hachi? Whatever there is to say there, it’s unfortunately not the case here for I would have expected from the premise something fascinating with its existence in the vein of Nine Lives (which I’m kind of glad exists), but A Dog’s Purpose sadly isn’t that.

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Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Natural Born Killers – Review

✯½

Oliver Stone’s films have been loud about whatever subjects they wish to carry and in some cases they have been beneficial but me not being a fan of his generally speaking, there’s a level to which they just come off as meaningless shouting. One of the most evident cases of such is Natural Born Killers which quite evidently wants to be something more clever deep down (Quentin Tarantino developed the story) but everything soon enough just goes nowhere. I understand already it’s supposed to play as a satire upon media’s fascination with serial killers but even on that count it never works well enough and instead it takes comfort in an ugly aesthetic.

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Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Blair Witch – Review

✯½

The original Blair Witch Project isn’t necessarily a film that I like but I get the appeal it has and I do carry my own respect for it, and in the hopes of finding some surprise out of a new Blair Witch film, anticipation only increased when Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett were directing and writing. Wingard and Barrett have shown themselves to be able to give horror a new voice in a modern age especially with a repertoire of short films as part of the first two V/H/S films and The Guest, so did it all pay off with Blair Witch? I’m sad to say the answer is no.

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Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Absolutely Anything – Review

✯½

Honestly not sure who exactly to feel sad about more in this case, but with Absolutely Anything it’s hard enough: on one end it’s Robin Williams’s last film and on the other it’s the last we’ll ever see of the remaining Monty Python members inside of a film together. But why exactly is it a sad thought in the first place on either end? It’s a sad thought that this may be the last we will see on both ends (certainly the last on Williams’s end) because Absolutely Anything is just a flat out terrible film. If Absolutely Anything turns out to become the last that we’ll ever see of Terry Jones as a director, then it’d only pain me even more to see the Python leaving on such a distasteful note.

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Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Inferno (2016) – Review

✯½

We’ve gotten this far ahead inside of a world where Robert Langdon is thought to be potential for an iconic film character and yet his previous two films are either laughably ridiculous with the turns of their mysteries or horrendously boring at their worst. Inferno, while not nearly as tedious the experience that The Da Vinci Code was, just goes down the way Angels & Demons had suffered in the sense that they twist far too much either it can get too ridiculous for their own good, stinting itself from retaining one’s interest. We’re three films into this series already and they forgot what is the key element to Robert Langdon that should have been present with The Da Vinci Code.

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Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III – Review

✯½

Now that Tobe Hooper’s gone off the Texas Chainsaw Massacreseries, the film had ended up landing within the hands of Jeff Burr – someone who seems so relatively unknown prior to even having his own hands laid on what would eventually grow to become one of the most iconic titles in horror movie history. The removal of Tobe Hooper is one step already for what would already become a big step down but the hole has proven itself to have become much deeper when an inexperienced director is given responsibility, as Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre IIIshows the very worst tendencies of what happens when something that started off in a minimalist manner ends up getting overblown to the point, the wrong ideas of handling it come about – and something messy is to come by. Continue reading “Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III – Review”

Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Stay – Review

✯½

I’m not going to deny how a certain amount of concentration is required for films in order to get a grasp of their ideas, but when I think of a film like Stay, the way I see it is that it feels more like a film that wants you to concentrate without necessarily earning any of it because it just presents emptiness all around. All I can ever pick up from every oddity arising from the manner to which Stay had been made only went on to annoy me more, because it never seemed justified. Instead, it struck me as Marc Forster attempting to ape on David Lynch’s style, and doing it so poorly to the point I’m just sitting there for every minute while it lasts reminding myself I would much rather be spending that time watching Mulholland Drive. Continue reading “Stay – Review”

Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Swiss Army Man – Review

✯½

If you saw an ad for Swiss Army Man, you would get a clear idea of how weird it all will play out to be but what you made of the ads will decide in the end what you think of the final product. I was never particularly expecting much because I found the trailers to be ridiculous (and not in the good manner at that) and who knew, my reaction to the actual film was no different. There’s a level to which I can appreciate weirdness and ridiculousness on film but the delivery presented by Swiss Army Man was so juvenile in the worst sense – it’s a case in which weirdness just fills up the entire hour and a half long running time but in the very end, it achieves nothing for it relishes inside its own quirkiness for no other reason than just to be quirky. Continue reading “Swiss Army Man – Review”

Posted in 1½ Stars, Film Reviews

Cabin Fever (2016) – Review

✯½

It’s not unfamiliar to run into absolutely unnecessary remakes of horror films, but the original source for this one is a case in which I’m especially skeptical. Unfortunately I don’t think I can say very much on the original film since surprisingly I have never seen it yet, but if there is something about myself that I should put out there, I’m not a fan of Eli Roth. My first assumption at least before coming into this remake of Cabin Fever was obviously not having seen the original, but on its own, this remake does very little in order to prove itself worthwhile. Eventually I’ll give the original Cabin Fever a shot, but the degree of laziness present in this remake is so blatant and glaring to the point that eye rolls are sure to come out. 2016 has proven itself an outstanding year for horror films, but this remake of Cabin Fever is quite evidently not an example of that. Continue reading “Cabin Fever (2016) – Review”